Jobber Knocker

Joestopper’s Cruiserweight Report 4/16: “Thank You, Cedric!”

As 205 Live opens, champion Tony Nese gives the audience a cold open, announcing that this is a new beginning for Tuesday late nights. He wants a new challenger to his belt, and acknowledges past feuds with Drew Gulak and Kalisto. It certainly won’t be Buddy Murphy, as he has taken his talents to the 8:00pm slot on Tuesday. Perhaps it’ll be someone he never expected to be here? Only the future will tell.

After the intro, GM Drake Maverick is shown at commentary hyping up the main event of the evening, Raw-bound Cedric Alexander in a farewell match against newcomer Oney Lorcan. I’m glad this is still going down, as I was afraid Vince McMahon would try to shed Cedric of the cruiserweight “stigma” quickly. And of course, Lucha House Party representative Gran Metallik is out to try to wake up Montreal. I’m afraid this isn’t going to go well, especially with their new cry, “ITTTTT’S LUCHA TIME!!” Ariya Daivari is out next, and Montreal is confused as to whom to be more indifferent about.

But wait, this is a multi-man match! Maria Kanellis accompanies her husband Mike to the ring. They’re holding up 4 fingers together, and I don’t know why. Akira Tozawa is the fourth man in this Fatal 4-Way. On commentary, Aiden English dismisses Maria as being the only reason Mike has had the limited success he has had on the Purple Brand. Mike absorbs a brutal powerbomb on the outside by Daivari, and he’s hurting. All other competitors start showcasing their aerial prowess. After Mike hits his twisting neckbreaker (“Love Hurts”?) on Tozawa, Daivari clears out Metallik and Mike to pick up the win.

A clean-shaven Lorcan (which is a good call, considering the current look of MIke Kanellis is identical to Oney’s NXT appearance) addresses the departing Cedric and the future of 205 Live, needing to beat Alexander tonight to validate his existence on the show. Cedric retorts, looking relieved to not have to stay under 205 lbs. He speaks of building his own legacy, and the pride he took in becoming the Soul of 205 Live. He won’t leave without a fight.

As Lorcan enters, Vic Joseph announces next week’s main event of Humberto Carrillo against his former instructor, Drew Gulak. I still feel Gulak is better suited for NXT or NXT UK, but I’ll appreciate any matches of his. Nigel McGuinness brings up the toughness of Lorcan to incur a broken orbital bone against Undisputed Era and complete the match. Cedric’s speed is matching up well with Oney’s Southie Strong Style, as the action goes back and forth. Two Half & Half suplexes (one on the ring apron), and Oney Lorcan is your victor in a brutal match. The remaining crowd is chanting “Thank You, Cedric”, and Lorcan gives Alexander the moment to wrap the show up.

My 100% 100kg Of The Week

It’s not often that a man the size of Finn Balor is given the respect of the Intercontinental Title, and he has taken it to Smackdown Live in a tremendous matchup against Ali. The Blue Brand is the perfect landing spot for Balor, and I look forward to new feuds for the Extraordinary Man Who Does Extraordinary Things.