Jobber Knocker

Joestopper’s Cruiserweight Report 5/14: Cruiserweights Heating Up Money In The Bank

The Money In The Bank matches each spring give new opportunities to those who seldom receive title shots. This year, the single match was already stocked with cruiserweights in Ricochet, Andrade, Finn Balor, and Ali. However, Sami Zayn shocked the WWE Universe by defeating Braun Strowman in a Falls Count Anywhere match and taking his slot in MITB. While Drew McIntyre and Baron Corbin have to be considered heavy favorites (literally), the odds seem to be swaying towards one of our stalwarts ascending the ladder and retrieving the Briefcase Of Destiny (patent pending).

GM Drake Maverick opens up 205 Live hyping up a Fatal 4-Way match between Jack Gallagher, Humberto “Shimmy Shimmy Ya” Carrillo, Mark Andrews, and a shockingly vocal James Drake. Champion Tony Nese speaks next about his non-title exhibition against NXT UK sensation Ligero. One of the great aspects of this show is that matches are actually promoted a week before they occur, allowing for fans to actually anticipate these encounters.

The combatants enter, and Carrillo has updated/regressed his appearance with a Kalisto-esque cape and chest protector combo. He still has tremendous entrance theme, so I’ll forgive the biting of style. Drake dominates the early portion, but as action spills to the outside, Gallagher breaks out his old friend William for an umbrella-aided dive onto his foes. Three-way stong style ensues between Carrillo, Andrews, and Gallagher. Gallagher headbutts Andrews silly, but Carrillo rolls up the groggy Gentleman for a pinfall. He offers a handshake to Gallagher, but Jack refuses the gesture and leaves. Perhaps not a full-face turn for the Gentleman?

Ariya Daivari graces us with a promo from a tanning bed, and I’m shocked that this is the first time I’ve ever seen one. He claims that Nese’s attempts in the past to get into his head have failed, and always will. He cites the likely jet lag that Nese will be dealing with, considering his schedule this week. Nese responds by saying that as a champion, it is expected that the best need to face the best competition. A vignette of Ligero airs, and it always strikes me as odd to hear a British accent accompanying a technical luchador. This should be stupendous! Lucha House Party sadly will not let this feud with Bollywood Boyz end, as they will square off in our next episode. No offense to the Singhs, but Randy Orton beatings probably feel better than dealing with LHP.

Ligero enters, followed by Nese. Byron Saxton, filling in for Vic Joseph, speaks about butterflies in the stomach of Ligero, and I cannot wait for Joseph’s return to kick this cliche machine back to Smackdown! With Percy Watson being released, it’s a three man booth tonight with the improving Aiden English and the incomparable Nigel McGuinness. A handshake between Nese and Ligero, and the fight is on. English brings up Nese’s numerous title defenses since claiming the lavender belt, while McGuinness questions the need to wrestle so often. A series of rolling pin attempts has referee Charles Robinson working overtime with his counts. With the British crowd strongly behind their own Ligero, Nese incorporates long gut-holds to incite the audience. The offense is split pretty evenly, and the crowd is responding to every burst from Ligero. Nese connects with a beautiful 450 splash, but it does not put away his feisty opponent. Ligero attempts his Tornado DDT finisher, but Nese stops the momentum with a one-armed Buckle Bomb and Running Nese for the win. A show of sportsmanship is spoiled by an attacking tanned Daivari, who obliterates Ligero and decimates a weary Nese. A hammerlock lariat (perhaps a “Persian Club,” in a nod to the Iron Sheik?) punctuates the assault and the episode.

My 100% 100 kg Of The Week

I have to admit, I don’t get many chances to watch NXTUK on Wednesday nights. My JK ally Brandon Cox has been a godsend with his recaps for us unwashed Yanks. But after what I saw, Ligero is being vastly underutilized across the pond! His cardio was put to the test against Nese, and he more than held his own in a fast-paced match. With new wrestlers coming into NXTUK and limiting his screen time, I hope he someday graces our States with his technical marvel, as his debut on 205 Live was outstanding!

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