Jobber Knocker

Joestopper’s Cruiserweight Report 6/11: “Just When I Think I’m Out…”

Real talk here, people. I had no plan to give to the masses a cruiserweight report for this week. No, there was no protest about the Saudi Arabian money grab (although I proudly have still not sold my soul and watched it). I just happen to really love Mrs. Joestopper with all of my heart, and when her birthday comes around each year, I like to let her know. So yeah, there was no 100% 100 on my mind except my Freckles. A great evening was had, and I woke up the next morning in anticipation of the JobberKnocker podcast. All was well in the world. And it became even more so when JC alerted the world to my (as of yet, unwritten) report on Chad Gable being elevated to 205 Live! Ask, and ye shalt receive!

GM Drake Maverick opens our episode to address criticisms levied against him by competitors, that his pursuit of the 24/7 Belt has blinded him to his leadership of the flagship of the CWs. Instead of merely naming a Number 1 contender to champion Tony Nese at Stomping Grounds, the winner of a main event Fatal 4-Way between Akira Tozawa, Oney Lorcan, Humberto (Shimmy Shimmy Ya) Carrillo, and Drew Gulak will determine Nese’s opponent. On Raw or Smackdown, I would cringe at this idea, but 205 Live really delivers in multi-man matches. This should be no exception.

Jack Gallagher is out, facing off against off against the aforementioned Gable. Aiden English gives him the rub, with bewilderment that a wrestler of Gable’s ability would grace our airwaves. I strongly concur, as Gable has been utterly wasted on Raw and typecast as a tag team specialist. He’s gotten a haircut, and new ring gear. Nigel McGuinness brings up the addition of Gable potentially being a detriment to the momentum of Mike Kanellis, and I wouldn’t mind a feud between those two one bit. This match is counter after counter, with Gallagher finally getting an advantage after a 15-second delayed suplex! Gable responds with a Tiger Bomb into a jack knife cover (I’ve never seen that), but somehow Gallagher kicks out. The action spills to the outside, and Gable counters a tope suicida into a German suplex that drops Gallagher on his head. The Gentleman cannot get back into the ring, and Gable picks up a countout win in his debut.

Backstage, Mike and Maria are, of course, pissed at Maverick’s new signee. Mike rightfully brings up his victory over THE Brian Kendrick as reason as to why he should have gotten the opportunity to face Gable instead of Gallagher. Maverick responds by claiming that their Twitter activity will not sway his decision-making. Maria drops the mic by saying that instead of keeping track of their status, perhaps he needs to worry about his own.

A WWE.com piece on Noam Dar airs, with him upset over the seemingly unsafe work environment here in America. Citing Gulak’s attack on him last week, the Scottish Supernova claims he will need more time to rehab his knee. Upon his return, if he is not given certainties about the safety of working on 205 Live, he will permanently return to NXTUK. Given Gulak’s activity in NXTUS, I would be quite happy with the Philadelphia Stretcher finding a home at Full Sail.

The Bollywood Boyz are dancing to the ring to face off against (Jobber Alert) Dos Locales. Aside from Nigel calling Sunil Singh “A jack of all trades, master of na’an”, this match is the definition of 32X. Which, until the CW Tag Titles are created, sums up the Singh Brothers. Nese is being interviewed backstage, and he brings up initially wanting to defend against Tozawa. Now, he needs to be ready to prepare for the bruising Lorcan, the aerial offense of Carrillo, or the calculating Gulak. He’s tired of waiting to defend, so at Stomping Grounds, the Premier Athlete will once again prove doubters wrong.

The four combatants enter, and Gulak looks disgusted that his darker demeanor has resulted in the same presidential manner that he was presented with before. Can’t say I blame him, as it really doesn’t make sense. Gulak dominates the early portion of this match, as Carrillo is consistently getting double-teamed. Tozawa breaks up a Lorcan pin on Carrillo with a perfectly-timed senton, which elicits a “205!” chant from the crowd (I do not approve of this chant, but I digress). Lorcan seems to be ready to take the W, but Ariya Daivari runs in and ends his night with a steel chair to Oney’s back. A superplex from Gulak to Tozawa seems to pick up the win, but both men’s shoulders were down. After Maverick comes to ringside, nothing is decided as the episode fades to black.

100% 100 kg Of The Week

Since his arrival at Full Sail in 2013, Chad Gable has been Ready, Willing, and Gable. With all of his amateur pedigree, he is a naturally grating heel when given the chance. Yet, because of his fluidity in the ring, WWE has positioned him with tag team partners like Jason Jordan and Shelton Benjamin. While these teams brought him belts, one has to look at Gable’s WWE tenure as somewhat underwhelming. Clearly, Triple H still sees potential in a singles run for Gable, as his promotion to the Showcase Of The Cruiserweights has to be seen as a game-changer. He brings out the best in his opponents, with his stellar match with Gallagher as a prime example. This may be the first of many 100% 100s for the former Olympian.