Cruiserweight Report, Jobber Knocker

Joestopper’s Cruiserweight Report 8/13: A Great Few Days For 100% 100s!

By all accounts, the WWE had a great last few days in The North. TakeOver: Toronto was highlighted by an amazing Two Out Of Three Falls between reigning NXT Champion Adam Cole (BAY-BAY) and resident workhorse Johnny Gargano, with Cole pinning Johnny Wrestling after surviving an Asylum Match as the third fall. Gargano took bows afterwards, and he’s likely headed out of Full Sail University (sorry, TJ!). On Sunday, Cruiserweight Champion Drew Gulak retained his belt after a questionable throat punch to challenger Oney Lorcan, and one has to wonder whether Gargano may show up at the CW Showcase. Also at SummerSlam, Seth Rollins picked up what has to be the upset of the season by cleanly defeating Brock Lesnar for the Universal Championship, in what was otherwise an easily predictable PPV. 

Our episode of 205 Live begins with a SLOWWW motion recap of Gulak defeating the Boston Butcher on the SummerSlam pre-show. Lorcan more than held his own against the ring technician extraordinaire, and I doubt this is his last challenge. In fact, I guarantee it isn’t, as he has been granted a re-match in tonight’s main event!

Gentleman Jack Gallagher is out first tonight, squaring off against Akira Tozawa. Gallagher is still being portrayed as a tweener, and he’s the default heel against the ever-popular Kobe warrior. Code Of Honor is accepted, however, so perhaps this is face vs face? Lots of joint manipulation from both grapplers, until a monkey flip sends Tozawa into the top of the ringpost for a near count-out. The ref gloves are on, as Tozawa’s head is opened up. Akira fires up after consulting with THE Brian Kendrick, however, and puts away Gallagher with his senton. Gallagher DID get his foot on the rope during the pin attempt, so this match will be revisited down the line.

Lorcan is backstage, vowing not to leave Toronto without the CW strap. Hope he doesn’t mind the airport security bag check.

Humberto “Shimmy Shimmy Ya” Carrillo is being sentenced to tagging with Lince Dorado and Kalisto after Gran Metallik was mysteriously attacked in the locker room. They will be defending the honor of Lucha against the team of Ariya Daivari and Bollywood Boyz. The sight of the Persian Playboy trying to bolly is the definition of unintentional humor. There is mistrust in the face corner, as the LHP does not want to tag in Carrillo, allowing the heels to dominate the majority of this match. Finally, Kalisto is forced to tag in Carrillo. Lince tags in just as Humberto hits his spinning 450, allowing for Dorado to hit his SSP for the win for LHP.

Gulak is backstage, vowing to dismantle Lorcan, piece by piece. He says the only constant in this world is change, and he is the law. Tony Nese is next on the selfie promo, saying he needs to get back to scratch in order to get back to the top of the CW Division. Considering that “scratch” included counting his ab content, I’m not sure this journey will be fulfilled. 

Greg Hamilton does the honors in introducing Lorcan and Gulak, as only Greg Hamilton can. There is a sizable crowd tonight, and Toronto has brought the action each of the last four days. Oney hits a Half & Half early, but Gulak is able to roll out of the ring. On the outside, Gulak goes after the ailing Adam’s apple of Lorcan with a drop onto the announcer’s desk for a near count-out. The Philadelphia Stretcher is expertly using the ropes and ring apron to abuse Lorcan, and actually leaves his feet for a second-rope lariat! Oney channels his yellow boots and Hulks up, unleashing a barrage of uppercuts and his running Blockbuster for a two-count. He hits a Half & Half from the top rope, but the damage to both takes too much time for Lorcan to score the three-count. Gulak survives Southie Strong Style and locks in the Gu-Lock. Oney doesn’t tap, but the referee calls for the bell as Lorcan passes out in the Dragon Sleeper.

My 100% 100 KgOTW

Ever since Kevin Owens shouted him out in an epic rant on those being buried in catering on Smackdown Live, the Blue Brand has become not only the KO Show, but the Buddy Murphy Experience. Roman Reigns bullied him into giving up the name of The Big Dog’s attacker. And the perpetrator, Rowan, laid waste to him in interference of his SummerSlam match against Apollo Crews. Tonight, on SD Live, The Best Kept Secret had an instant classic with Reigns. In a losing effort, he was made to look like the main-eventer he truly is, and he is no longer anyone’s Secret. Buddy Murphy, you are this week’s 100% 100 KgOTW!

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