Jobber Knocker

JoeStopper’s AEW Report 5/27: The Stampede Continues!

All Elite Wrestling is running at an all-time high, following the massive success of Double Or Nothing. Brian Cage made an immediate impact (pun semi-intended), and put the company on notice after securing a shot at the World Title by winning the Casino Ladder match as the mystery participant. While all three title matches were quality bouts, it was the Jungle Boy/MJF matchup that absolutely stole the show on Saturday. And, as the title of this report suggests, the Stadium Stampede continued the remarkable trend of outside-the-box wrestling production, bringing more action to TIAA Bank Field than the Jacksonville Jaguars have mustered in 26 years!
 
After a recap of the championship wins, the Inner Circle open up our episode of Dynamite by revealing a SHITLOAD of IC Victory shirts they now have no use for! Some kids in Africa are going to get a sweet come-up, if you ask me. To kick off the action, Joey Janela is teaming with Private Party (a combo I’m shocked hasn’t been done yet) against Young Bucks and Broken Matt Hardy, who is debuting his pre-WWF version of High Voltage/Surge. Blade and Butcher make their presence known to the Jacksons at ringside, while JR makes a quip about WWE’s recent use of plexiglass. Hardy still has a bit of vertical to his game, and lands a nice moonsault onto the Party trio, who are playing the heels by default. Marq Quen takes a rough landing off of a tope con hilo, and the distracted Isaiah Kassidy takes More Bang For Your Buck for the L. B&B hit the ring to lay a beatdown on the Bucks, but the duo of Harwood & Cash (now known as #FTR) arrive by pickup truck to assist The Elite!

https://twitter.com/AEWonTNT/status/1265801220960079873?s=20

 
Jon Moxley struts his way down to commentary proudly as he retained his AEW World Title, asking JR to pass him a Mule. He’s adding color to the next matchup between Cage and Lee Johnson. Crikey, Johnson can’t catch a break! After taking a powerbomb and bucklebomb, he gets dropped by a Drillclaw for the job. Taz gets on the mic to announce that Cage is cashing in his chip at Fyter Fest, but Mox seems ready for the challenge.
 
Knee damage will not keep Dr. Britt Baker away from a microphone, as she is wheeled out to the stage by Rebel. This week’s rule to being a Role Model is not to hurt the Role Model, claiming that her injury last week was a conspiracy to take her out. While I’m not surprised that she labels Kris Statlander and new Women’s Champion Hikaru Shida, I WAS surprised she added former champion Nyla Rose to the conspirator list. At the center of her investigation is referee Aubrey Edwards, and the (now) Roll Model will return at All In.
 
After Orange Cassidy interrupts an Inner Circle promo, newcomer Christi Jaynes is taking on Shida. She’s all smiles as the ringside crowd serenades her with “Holy Shida!”, but JR simply has to comment on Jaynes’ appearance. AEW seems intent on giving new signees significant offense, as Jaynes is able to kick out of the champ’s running knee. Shida follows up with her Falcon Arrow for the victory.
 
I wish that production had allowed for audio during Kenny Omega and Hangman Page’s hangout at the hotel, which Page hilariously tries to adjust on the camera. Well, they have had a lot of interaction on Being The Elite, so there’s that.
 
Cody is out with Arn Anderson and his still-unfinished TNT Championship belt. At this point, it makes for better GIFs to just leave it as is. Tony Schiavone is doing the interview, because well, he has to. The American Nightmare compares his career to that of Tom Brady (even though he’s not welcome in ONE of the New England states), but he’ll need about 12 more years of dominance to make that claim. He states that the TNT belt will be defended weekly while he has it, seemingly making it a TV belt in the truest sense. This is what the 24/7 Title COULD have been for WWE, and I’m psyched for it!
 
Kip Sabian and Jimmy Havoc are out next to face SCU. Scorpio Sky and Kazarian had great showings in the Casino Match, but Superbad surprised many with his abilities in that match. The winner of this match is getting a shot next week against the champs Page & Omega, which is confusing since Best Friends are #1 Contenders. Of course, Penelope Ford causes the decisive distraction for Kaz, and the British tag team move on to challenge for the titles, with Best Friends facing whoever wins that match at Fyter Fest. 
 
MJF is crushing this promo in a Chinese restaurant lounge! Both he and Wardlow are going to be in the next Battle Royale, where the winner faces Cody for the TNT strap. There was a moment of dissension when it was implied that Wardlow would allow Friedman to win, but it was quickly laughed off by the duo. Hmmm. Joining them are Dr. Luther, Billy (Gunn), Peter Avalon, Orange, Christopher Daniels, Jurassic Express, Sonny Kiss, Brandon Cutler, and Colt Cabana. After an early ejection, Cabana gets some Dark Order propaganda handed to him. Please, God, no. After Luchasaurus and Billy get eliminated, I need commentators to stop calling the resident dinosaur a near 7-footer! It comes down to Cassidy and Jungle Boy, with Jack Perry earning the first chance to defeat Cody next week. After his match last Saturday, I’d say it was well deserved!
 
For some reason, Vickie Guerrero is cosplaying Billie Kay as she introduces Inner Circle through a drum band and Jaguar cheerleaders. It’s a pep rally, I get it, but the Five Sexy Phoenixes (Chris Jericho’s words, not mine) seem rather dour. In keeping with the “participant trophy” culture, Sammy Guevara comes correct with tiny statues and Proud & Powerful provide the quintet with a “Rican-ucopia” of goodies. As God as my witness, Jake Hager recites a love poem to the IC. For some reason, Le Champion wants Mike Tyson’s head on a platter, and demands an apology from Tyson for knocking him out 10 years ago. This would have been entertaining in 2010, but this is just embarrassing in 2020. The locker room empties as Tyson’s “crew” gets in a pull-apart with Inner Circle. This, yes, THIS, is how we fade to black on this evening! 
 
JoeStopper’s Elite Of The Week
 
As disgusting as the conclusion to this week’s episode of Dynamite was, that’s how dynamic of a week Jack Perry has had. Known for aerial skills, he held his own in a technical classic with MJF, shattering anyone’s expectations. To complete the week, this evening on Dynamite he manages to outwit Friedman and outlast him, eliminating Orange Cassidy and earning the first challenge to the TNT Championship. This kind of opportunity is long overdue for Jungle Boy, and he is JoeStopper’s Elite Of The Week!