Jobber Knocker

JoeStopper’s AEW Report 7/29: Another Tour de Force Of Tag Team Wrestling!

In light of the upcoming Deadly Draw for the women’s roster, All Elite Wrestling is looking to focus once again on its amazing tag team division this week. The Dark Order duo of Evil Uno and Stu Grayson have been the #1 contenders to Hangman Page and Kenny Omega’s World Tag Team titles for ages. However, with a limited roster due to travel issues, less emphasis was placed on building feuds with established teams. Now may be the time to allow Page and Omega to progress on their solo careers, especially with Omega beginning to show hints of his vicious “The Cleaner” persona. They’ll be defending the belts against The Order Of Dusk (fare thee well, “Broken” Matt Hardy) on Dynamite this evening.

AEW Dark, Available On YouTube

  • The Initiative (new moniker for Peter Avalon & Brandon Cutler) vs FTR
  • Michael Nakazawa and Pineapple Pete vs Joey Janela & Sonny Kiss
  • Abadon vs Skyler Moore
  • Dark Order’s Evil Uno & Stu Grayson vs Will Hobbs and Shawn Dean
  • Corey Hollis vs Scorpio Sky
  • Penelope Ford vs Kenzie Paige
  • Aaron Solow vs Wardlow
  • Dark Order’s Alex Reynolds & John Silver vs Best Friends
  • Lance Archer vs Frankie Thomas (AEW debut)
  • Orange Cassidy vs (the actual) Serpentico
  • Fuego Del Sol vs (Fake Serpentico) Sammy Guevara
  • SCU vs Santana & Ortiz vs Private Party (with “Big Money Matt” Hardy)

Our episode of Dynamite kicks off with a Nestlemania-approved 10-man tag match between Inner Circle and the collaboration of Jurassic Express and Best Friends. The Demo God, Chris Jericho, is still rocking a pulp-drenched $7,000 blazer that I’m shocked he hasn’t given a moniker to it yet. Lots of dives to grouped-together IC on the outside, but Marko Stunt makes sure that gets old really quick. A hilarious moment ensues as Luchasaurus’ mask comes loose on Jake Hager blows, and JR quips “he’s losing his skin!” The human dinosaur takes advantage of an interfering Matt Hardy tossing Sammy Guevara off of the top rope, and lands his Tail Whip kick for the win. There needs to be more rebuilding to the Hardy/Guevara feud. But with Hardy parting with the “Broken” gimmick, I wonder if they’re going to piss of SJW even more so by turning the Sexy Spanish God babyface.

AEW World Champion Jon Moxley is again in front of a chain link fence. He’s a master of the 60-second promo, as 14-page promos written by 74 year old madmen sap his creativity.

The metal-loving, ass-ruling indie “darling”, Warhorse, has successfully petitioned Cody to give him an opportunity for the TNT Championship. At this point, Nestle could unretire and get a shot, but he would have to actually talk about All Elite Wrestling on the JobberkNocker podcast for more than 15 seconds to hype it. Cody again displays his push-up prowess, drawing the ire of coach Arn Anderson. Warhorse does land a flying elbow with a weakened left knee for a close two-count, but American Nightmare takes advantage by locking in a Figure-Four for the tap-out. Dark Order’s Reynolds & Silver attack Cody following the match, but the debuting Matt Cordona (TAFKA Zack Ryder in WWE) cleans house and celebrates with the champ afterwards.

Tony Schiavone is about to hype the September PPV entitled All Out, but Jericho and the IC interrupt. Apparently, the $7,000 blazer will be paid for by Orange Cassidy if he loses the rematch with The Ayatollah in two weeks, but a Jericho/Cassidy verbal debate will ensue next week.

FTR are about to officially sign their All Elite Wrestling contract, but Arn Anderson needs to certify that all their demands are met for hosting Tag Team Appreciation Night on August 12. For some reason, Hangman Page walks in and starts pouring shots. Kenny Omega is nowhere to be found.

Speaking of the tag champs, they’re out to face Evil Uno & Stu Grayson. The Dark Order has an official new member, as Anna Jay is joining Brodie Lee and Colt Cabana at a crowded commentary booth, seemingly cosplaying The Bunny. Evil Uno is working the majority of this match, which essentially means the match isn’t very good. It picks up as Grayson gets his aerial game on, but the champions hit Last Call to retain the belts. Lee yells at the losing challengers, then gets on the mic to try to conquer the Elite with Creepers appearing at ringside to attack. This attack is thwarted by FTR joining the Elite in the ring to clear out the DO.

Dr. Britt Baker is getting more mic time, and announces that she will only face the suspended Big Swole if she is able to defeat an opponent that Baker can choose. Keep in mind, once again, the dentist is not likely to be cleared until October.

Diamante gets vignette time, and I’m glad that AEW is utilizing her much better than IMPACT did. She’s facing AEW Women’s champ Hikaru Shida in a non-title match, and JR mentions in a mocking manner that other companies did not respect her efforts. Much like last week’s efforts with Ivelisse, this is a hard-hitting even match. Shida picks up with the win with her Falcon Arrow followed by a running knee.

The first team in Deadly Draw is complete, as Arianne (TAFKA Cameron of The Funkadactyls) is the unlikely ally of the Native Beast, Nyla Rose.

I feared the worst for this, as MJF is out with Wardlow and random jobbers to give a State Of Wrestling address. However, since it IS Maxwell Jacob Friedman, he’s taking his troll game to 11. He’s been relegated to sideline gazing week after week, and it’s supposedly because of Moxley. I’m supposed to add in #NotMyChampion, and I can appease this for a week. Friedman goes on the record by calling Mox a Stone Cold rip-off, and that he cannot draw better ratings than MJF. With Moxley as champion, war and COVID-19 have ravaged our fair land and it needs to end. Friedman challenges Mox at All Out for the AEW World title; and I have to say, it may be his time!

For our main event, Moxley and Darby Allin are taking the “Team Taz” duo of FTW Champion Brian Cage and Ricky Starks in a Tornado Tag match. Allin doesn’t come down the ramp to his entrance theme, apparently due to Starks clotheslining him into the ropes last week. Well, forget that previous sentence, as Allin splashes the heels with a Coffin Drop from the entrance tunnel as they arrive on the ramp. Plunder is introduced to the match, including a skateboard laden with thumbtacks. Allin uses this to stomp into Starks’ back to score a revenge win. Following the match, it’s announced that Moxley will defend the title against #5 contender (OK?) Allin as we fade to black.

JoeStopper’s Elite Of The Week

Perhaps MJF has a point in his “campaign” to claim the AEW World title. As much of a Darby Allin fan as I am, there is no need for him to be having an opportunity for the top belt of the company. This league is supposed to have a ranking system based on wins and losses, and Maxwell has not been pinned or submitted since arriving in All Elite Wrestling. No, he is not the “brand name” that Tony Khan would prefer as champions, but it is getting harder to dispute the indelible mark that Friedman is leaving on the industry, namely the IWC. Great heels can elevate companies, and AEW is on the precipice of surpassing the “alternative to WWE” and becoming genuine worldwide competition. In order to do this, the Long Island product needs to be given the crown. MJF, without even wrestling, you are JoeStopper’s Elite Of The Week.

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